Today was my first day off for the summer. It seemed like I ought to feel liberated and free, kinda like Sheila commented after this post. The thing is, the freedom from a daily job brings some hefty baggage along for the ride.
Gone now are the excuses, the reasons for doing a little less than should be expected. I can’t really say now, “I’m tired” or “I worked all day, I need a break” or anything else along those lines. All the pretense and bullshit has been stripped away. Do it or not, there are no excuses.
When I think in those terms, everything seems a bit clearer, a bit more real, as if I am not hiding anything from myself anymore. There’s a kicker though. If the things that I am working toward are things that I really want, there never should have been any excuses in the first place. If you want something you have a character imperative to move forward.
In a literal sense, if you were ever confronted by an all-powerful genie or whatever, and they said “I am giving you the choice to make your life fuller and more rewarding, or to stay exactly how it is, choose” who could honestly say they would choose no change?
An excuse is the same as choosing nothing.
Take your incredibly intimidating task and bust it up into tiny pieces and do one, right now if you have to. Do you have a goal that sounded full of promise and light several months ago but sits neglected here and now? Dust that thing off and move forward already.
Here it is, the close of another school year, Brady is heading into sixth grade, and the cycle begins anew.
Except this year feels different. I am not sure what it is, exactly, that gives me this feeling. I get the sense that we are at a tipping point. Brady is definitely feeling his pre-teen oats, he’s still the same great kid he’s always been, just now with mood swings.
I can’t speak for Jennifer, but I feel like we’re at a point where increased income no longer equates to a similar increase in freedoms and happiness. Right now, every dollar of income carries an obligation for the future, an option against personal time, and has been doing do for a year or more.
I suppose that means while I feel that changes are coming, there are things that absolutely must change in order to preserve our sanity or some semblance of a life worth living.
My last day of work before summer vacation is next Tuesday. After that, in order to open a door to the future one or more doors will have to close to the past. I am both excited and fearful for all of the opportunities.
Hopefully, like parachuting, when I turn and face the jump door, I still have the guts to follow-through.
I’m not really sure if he was having fun or hiding out, but Brady spent the afternoon sitting in a tree a few days ago. He seemed happy enough. I’ll just chalk it up to kids being weird.
I don’t have a dog, don’t particularly want one. But if I did and I did…I would name it Gravy. That’s all.