Twofoos » Random

Balloon Bass Guitar

Kevin — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 02:19:26 +0000

This is not the sort of thing I would normally post, but I would love to catch a full band like this playing at my local bar.

Ballon Bass And Box Jam – Watch more Funny Videos

Solve problems by waving

Kevin — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:00:31 +0000

I drive a big yellow truck. BIG, yellow truck. Technically it’s a Grumman-Olson body on a GMC P-30 chassis. Think like a bread truck or FedEx just a tad shorter in length.

I was driving down a 4+1 lane road headed into Lakewood yesterday. I was in the right lane and had just crossed a set of railroad tracks when I see a blue Civic sedan start to drift into my lane.

The rear tire of the Civic was even with or behind my front tire, so this person was definitely not in front of me at all. Apparently they didn’t have or use their turn signal, and I had an inoperative horn (I’ll fix it soon, promise). There are cars behind me so I can’t jam the brakes but I do slow down.

Right about the moment I begin to slow down they make their move to get into my lane with a quickness. I swerve out of the way and have my right side in the grass on the verge, throwing dirt and clods of grass in my wake.

Lane change complete, she finally looks in the mirror and sees me, back on the road, hands held out at shoulder-level as if to say, “What in the hell is your damn-fool problem that my 9 foot tall, 16 foot long, YELLOW truck was invisible to you?”

She holds up her hand by the rearview mirror, fingers splayed, wrist slightly twisted, in what is an apparent display of the female driver’s version of the phrase, “My bad.”

She keeps it up there like a beauty queen for the next quarter of a mile or so. It moves around occasionally as if with every change of aspect it’s indicating how “very, very” her apology is.

Stop waving, goofball, drive the damn car and, this is key, pay attention to the road! If you’re really that sorry call the ladies at Hi-Teck Nail and get Jen a gift certificate.

Momma needs a pedicure.

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Random Picture Wednesday #15

Kevin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:00:55 +0000

David can hardly believe that he regained consciousness at a birthday party.

Random Picture Wednesday #14

Kevin — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:00:22 +0000

Sweet ‘stache player, good on ya.

Random Picture Wednesday #13

Kevin — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:00:08 +0000

In one of life’s serendipitous moments, we discover, through careful observation… the Beernado!

Random Picture Wednesday #12

Kevin — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 15:00:15 +0000

It’s like getting all of your weight loss at once.

Random Picture Wednesday #11

Kevin — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:00:08 +0000

Nothing quite says American like your first Big Mac:

Good job Brady, show that fast food who’s boss.

Random Picture Wednesday #10

Kevin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:00:33 +0000

Hurry up, there’s no time, we need to…

ahh…that’s better.

What did you do today?

Kevin — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 02:11:46 +0000

I know that we can’t do something important every day all day. Take a look at this kid though and see if you can’t find a little room for growth.

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Wild Dream

Kevin — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:11:54 +0000

Just had a crazy dream, I want to write it down quickly before I forget.

Jen and I were at the mall doing some shopping and decided to shop separately. I was wandering around and ran into a friend from high school who was in a utility area like you see down the restroom hall or something at the mall.

He waved me back to where he was and there were several more of the guys from high school and it turned out that they were taking the “Math for Everyday Living” class together. Again.

We were talking back and forth and I could tell that one or the other of them was constantly checking me out head to toe. I thought maybe there was something wrong with my appearance and started doing the same.

The first thing I looked at were my feet, and this was where I first realized this was actually a dream. I had on some nice leather dress shoes I hadn’t been able to find the other day when I was headed out but I was wearing them here.

Then, suddenly, class started for these guys and I didn’t belong. I made as if to leave and the instructor accosted me with the usual “Where do you think YOU’RE going?” routine. I told her I was headed to the bathroom, as an excuse, and was about to ditch when I saw that I was being followed by someone else from the classroom.

This woman attempted to give me directions and keep track of me. I found the bathrooms down another hall filled with classrooms and went inside. The trashcans were overflowing and I was compelled to clean them out.

I took the faces off the wall-mounted cans and walked them outside. And walked and walked, once I was away from that weird situation it made no sense to follow-through with the trash detail.

I walked into a courtyard that I now recognize as reminiscent of the courtyard at my former high school. There was a trashcan in the middle of it which I was going to make a point of using to leave the can fronts I was carrying leaning against.

As I walked to the trash can I noticed a small green pole with a yellow band around it a few inches from the top. The yellow band was flashing as a kind of alarm. I realized now that there was also an audible alarm and that I must have tripped it when I left with the trashcan fronts.

I recall thinking about how foolish it would be getting caught in what would appear to be attempted theft of part of a trashcan, laying them against the other can and walking away.

Or rather, attempting to walk away. I felt very sluggish and foggy. It seemed like I could only take a single step at a time before needing the rest.

Thankfully, it was about this time that Jen called and woke me up. It is super difficult to pretend you haven’t been sleeping with this on your mind and a big wad of drool threatening to leap from your face to the phone.

I think I played it well, the only way she should know to the contrary is when she reads this!

Solve problems by waving